


Look For The Silver Lining

by StainedGlassDreams



Series: Earth, Please Come In, Over [3]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst, bucky is selfless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:21:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainedGlassDreams/pseuds/StainedGlassDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky wakes up in a motel, somewhere. ....Tried to forget why's he's there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look For The Silver Lining

Beep.

Once upon a time, Bucky knew what he was going to do.

Beep.

He was going to get out of the war. Get out of HYDRA. Return his memories. Live with the one person who ever saw him, & loved him despite that.

Beep.

He never expected this.

Be- Bucky turned off the alarm, the room flooding in slowly.  
He sat up, the room musty. The results of $60 & the first sign you see that tells "Vacancy".  
Neon calling the loners. The lost souls, & the ones who lost everything.

A bourbon bottle sat in the corner.

He didn't go home last night. Sat up, ignoring the unpleasant negative voice that stayed with him, in place of a hangover.  
After he drove off (by his measure, he figured he was somewhere in Philly), he pulled into the first motel he saw, automatically. Wasn't even sure why, besides his unconscious mind telling him he needed to sleep.

The broken blinds shone some light on the floor.

So, here he was.

"Didn't smoke. Too stubborn again." He said, to no one. (You know who you're saying it to-) Laughed quietly. "...Could really use one right now though."

2:30pm. Bucky got up, walking to the bathroom, splashing water on his face.  
("Don't shave yet.")  
He smiled. "Wouldn't ye-" He turned, expecting to see her. All he saw was the ghosts of yesterday.  
He turned back, grabbing a towel to wipe his hands & face.  
And the ghost of a life he could never have again.  
Breathed in the towel, finding it smelling fresh. Tried to use it to ground himself, than going one of two wonderful ways: a summer day in Brooklyn, or flashbacks to when he was living in motels, when he was gaining his memory back.

& he didn't think he could either at the moment so he breathed in the towel, standing in the tight bathroom of a cheap Philly motel. Alone.

Bucky slid back on his leather jacket, taking his wallet before stopping at the bottle. Last chance at getting numb before you go out.  
He walked over to it, picking it up & throwing It in the garbage basket.  
"Might as well feel how the rest of every day is going to feel."

Bucky went to the front office, setting the keys down as he got the money out.  
The man behind the counter watched him silently, before finally speaking "You're him. ...Aren't ya?"  
Bucky didn't feel like getting noticed at the moment, beginning to slide the $60 on the desk. The man immediately put his hand down, stopping Bucky. "Heroes don't pay here."  
Bucky paused, looking down, waiting a moment before he replied. ".....I'm not a hero."  
The man looked at him, one eye squinting. Mimicked his pause. "....My Pappy always used to tell me... "Look for the silver lining.' ....He wouldn't have been able to tell me that, if you didn't save his ass in WWII. 139th." He slid the money back to Bucky. "Look for the silver lining, kid." The man leaned back, beginning to do whatever he was before.  
Bucky stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. He began to leave, before turning. "Thank You."  
"No. Thank You."  
Bucky left.

The highway was empty, he must've been driving for a while.  
Bucky walked over to his bike, pulling out his phone before he did. A few voicemails from Steve & Sam, & a text from Logan.  
He wrote out a quick reply to show them he was alive, before tucking the phone back in his pocket.

The man's voice was still in his mind, the words fresh. Remembered a song he played for her from his records.  
"'Look for the silver lining.'" Bucky paused. ".......That she's alive."  
Got on the chopper as he started it, beginning to return to New York.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Marion Harris- "Look For The Silver Lining"


End file.
